>:|

I hate it when an idea seems really good in my head, and I can't manage to execute it correctly. Especially when I spend all night on it when I could have been doing other things that could actually, you know, be used for something.



I'm tired.

Lo siento.

Art block over. Head full of ideas. Not so great reasons.



"When it turns out, I hope that it turns out the way that you dreamed."

Some Okkervil River:

I'm changing the sheets but I'd rather change your life.

Pre-show preparation was scowling at the rain outside and having ridiculous conversations with girl-love that included things like HERE I'M TAKING AN AWKWARD PICTURE PLEASE TELL ME IF MY DRESS IS TOO SHORT.

The show itself was.. well, everyone's bags were fantastic (okay, maybe three of them made me go "..."), there was a different crowd than what usually shows up at ellO, and my bag even sold. But you see, and some of you know this already, every so often social anxiety kicks my ass. And my typical show buddy/sanity was out of state, my bike nerd forgot that I existed.. I'm so, so thankful that Leah came for a while and let me escape with her for coffee, because otherwise I probably would have snuck out well before the show ended at 9. The worst part is, I probably come off as a huge snob at these events, but the truth is, I'm just bad at approaching strangers and I kind of hate talking about my art.

The photos aren't up yet, but I'll definitely be sharing them with you when they are. My roommate turned her bag into a dress, which I have been in awe over since February, watching her work towards the end result. I do have this for you, that the wonderful Leah took:


The bird looks a little blobby here, but I swear it isn't irl, and what you can't see are the two other birds on the back, and more filigree on the bottom/sides/inside.

Today I drew this for fun, I think maybe I'll get it someday:

Define:

Juxtapoz featured me in the reader art section of their website today. I love them, so this is very exciting! Hello if you are reading this due to finding me there - and I apologize for the overabundance of crappy rose drawings that have been taking over my last few entries.

I haven't drawn anything that hasn't been for a show/job/apprenticeship since January. At least, until this small thing:


(I'm really bad with titles.) If you happen to have a crush on it, you can buy it here.

It appears as though I am sick. Again. And if you remember, I was sick a few days before my last show, and I refuse to believe it's a coincidence! Sure, this time and last I had been in close contact with carriers of the plague, but my immune system is good to me.. except when I'm stressed out. Stress = my greatest ruiner. And in the last couple of weeks I've started a new job, the apprenticeship, and have been all sorts of anxious over the show. All I want to do is be at the shop, but all I've managed to do is sleep, drink tea, and draw badly. I hope my artist doesn't hate me.

So this will be the last rose flash that I'll force you guys to look at for a while. I'm getting better at drawing these things, but I'm still not nearly as good as I'd like to be. This is about 13 inches, measured diagonally, and is meant to go on someone's side/ribs. I wish I had used different colours.

Goodbye, March (among other things).

I've decided that an important part of this process (read: an essential way to maintain my sanity) is to do a bit of spring cleaning and rid my life of some unnecessary negativities. Much of this is simply in the way I view myself and my art - I like myself, I have a pretty healthy ego at this point in my life, but I need to stop doubting myself so much, because that is only going to be detrimental in the long run. Unfortunately, this negativity cleansing also means figuring out which existing elements are helping and which are making things worse. And the only reason I began that sentence with "unfortunately," is because some of these elements are people. This should be an obvious in anyone's life, but I don't want to interact with anyone or anything that constantly and consistently makes me feel bad about myself. And please, don't let your panties get twisted up here, I'm not referring to anyone that reads this silly thing.

Anyway, I'm still drawing roses. I don't know what the crap this one is, I was just messing around.



In more exciting news, my new buttons & pocket mirrors arrived in my mailbox today (thank you!), and will be stocked in my Etsy shop later this week. I have 15 mirrors and 50 buttons, since the other half of everything went to ellO this afternoon. I dropped off my BaileyWorks bag too, which is finally finished - there will be pictures of that after the show Friday.



In other news, my friend Alex let me borrow one of his guitars today, and this makes me a very happy lady (I miss playing a lot). We are going to try to do some sort of musical project. You know, with all of that free time that I don't have.

P.S.!

I still hate roses.

I don't entirely hate this, which makes me feel approximately 2% better.



It's meant to go on the top of someone's foot. The greenery at the top right would go up over the ankle bone.



(I am very, very stressed out and being too hard on myself for every imaginable reason.)

I am considering acupuncture.

Thank you to saltsoda over at Livejournal for letting me use her photo as a drawing reference.

This isn't necessarily great (this might be the worst lettering I've ever done), but I like it better than anything in my last two (Livejournal) posts. And it isn't even for anyone. Go figure. And please don't analyze the word on the banner - it isn't indicative of this current artistic slump, but it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the photograph.



I wish I could take a day and not draw a single line. I need to rest my brain, eyes, and hands, but I don't have time until after the 22nd. The last five days have been very strange. I'm now seeing Friday less as something to be nervous about and more like a glorious break in which I get to see a few friends.

Spring needs to hurry up and get here so I can go draw in the park without getting chilly after fifteen minutes.

Oh yes, and my website issues seem to be resolved, as least temporarily. Hooray!

Struggling.

If this is any indication of how the rest of the weekend's drawing is going to go, I'm in trouble.