The sun rose and set on the wings of the robin.

I have only written two poems in April. Thus far, the count for the year is 32, which means I still have a long way to go. Writing is sometimes difficult for me, it requires that I dredge up some past or some emotion and sometimes all I want to do is go through a week of being blindly human. Going to work and coming home and cooking meals and petting my cat and laughing with friends, without any pesky remembrance.

Then I'll see someone on the train that we both know, and want to ask how you are, but I can't and that makes me feel close to violently ill, and I'll come home and won't let myself write about that. Sometimes, I'll write poems that are lists of things that I'm not allowed to tell about.

Spring is nice, the blooming is important. I've been drawing robins again, because I've decided that I want one tattooed on my chest, the right side, because I've had this Leonard Cohen lyric in my head for three years now (this is also why robins often appear in my sketchbook pages, and sometimes with a few of the words):

I don't mean to suggest that I loved you the best
I can't keep track of each fallen robin

Honesty is a strange and delicate thing.

Teeny Tiny #8!

Sorry to post this everywhere, but my work for Teeny Tiny #8 is now available online. And the show's opening reception is Friday, so if you're near Portsmouth, check it out if you can! These are always my favorite shows of the year, and so many great artists are involved. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I'll be able to make it in time for the opening myself.

Relief.

Whenever I say I'm going to make a post "later," you should read that as "I intend to do it later but I'm probably going to get distracted and entirely forget." The real problem was, I didn't scan the finished piece until tonight. Here we go!






This will be at Teeny Tiny #8 in February at Three Graces. Which is a lovely little gallery in Portsmouth, NH. If you're in the area and haven't been yet, I highly recommend it!

This is me beaming!

There are few greater feelings than finishing work for a show. Here are the last two pieces!

Thanks for the inspiration, Mr. Cohen.

"I don’t mean to suggest that I loved you the best,
I can’t keep track of each fallen robin."
-Leonard Cohen

Oh yeah, title here.

I'm doing a terrible job of keeping my blogs updated these days. Here is a sketch that will be a finished piece within a week or so.

Untitled, for now.

Snowbird.

We had no power, and then we still had no internet, so my inbox exploded in the 36 hours I was unable to check it, and now I'm super behind on correspondence again.

...And instead of taking care of that this evening, I spent a few hours doing this:



This is one of those rare pieces that I'm 100% happy with. Hoorah! (And it means a lot, but that whole story is a secret, as they always are.)

But.

Depending on whether or not I'm able to find a piece of ribbon and a couple of tiny feathers by tomorrow, this will either end up in a shadowbox, or a lovely wood frame that I've been saving for something perfect.

(This one is important.)

Air & light.

My camera doesn't like to take good pictures and my scanner is old/half-dead, so here is a badly pieced together scan of the biggest show piece.. and since both of these images are pretty large, I'm going to do something different this time and upload them to blogger. Click to see the larger versions.





I am so tired. :(

A summary.

There are few things more satisfying than completing a piece after hours and hours of work. Even more satisfying is when I'm 100% happy with it. This is officially going to be my favourite piece in the Philly show, and is on my list of favourite drawings ever. I'll be sad to let it go. It means a lot, and I didn't mess it up!

& we can really climb.

It's a good thing I don't get sick of drawing birds, because I have to do a ton of them. A few have to be strictly European-based songbirds, which will be a fun new nerdy learning experience. I'm mostly familiar with New England birds, for obvious reasons. Some quick sketches in my journal:



I'm having a bad weekend. Fortunately, tomorrow afternoon will be devoted to Leah, movies, and smoothies. Second to friendly distractions, drawing is the best thing. Nothing else matters when I'm doing it. It's very much like getting to be in my own little calming bubble.

This world isn't wide enough.

Hey look, this is me attempting to use colour. The paper is more pale than this irl.



Still behind on everything, still incredibly stressed.

I'm sitting in my living room with one of my roommates and her friend, who are watching Xanadu. Holy crap it's is terrible, I feel like I should be drunk for this.

But what struck me particularly about him was the extreme pallor of his face.

You'll never know it, but this is for you.

A fair fight.

There's a nicely worn gold frame that this fits into perfectly, but no picture. This is small, 2.75x3.5" and you can't see the writing that is on the reverse irl like you can in this scan.

Conscience.

You know what? Fuck it. I'm currently incapable of drawing strictly "pretty" things. I don't feel "pretty" or "nice" or "delicate" so while I would like to be able to produce such things, right now I can't. And if this is making me feel better, then so be it. You should probably spare me from the ~that's so morbid omg~ comments, because I'm not going to say anything kind in response.

Oh hi.

These moths are taking SO. LONG.

Rough seas.

I finished this:



And here are some other quick sketches. I'm going to draw small versions of these (maybe not the boat, I might scrap that idea as it's similar to something I've done before), and then much larger/detailed ones. Ignore the banner/random writing.



Positive: I only have to keep taking these awful antibiotics until Sunday, which means I will yet again be able to function like a normal person! Which basically means, I'll be able to function without feeling like throwing up almost constantly.

Define:

Juxtapoz featured me in the reader art section of their website today. I love them, so this is very exciting! Hello if you are reading this due to finding me there - and I apologize for the overabundance of crappy rose drawings that have been taking over my last few entries.

I haven't drawn anything that hasn't been for a show/job/apprenticeship since January. At least, until this small thing:


(I'm really bad with titles.) If you happen to have a crush on it, you can buy it here.

It appears as though I am sick. Again. And if you remember, I was sick a few days before my last show, and I refuse to believe it's a coincidence! Sure, this time and last I had been in close contact with carriers of the plague, but my immune system is good to me.. except when I'm stressed out. Stress = my greatest ruiner. And in the last couple of weeks I've started a new job, the apprenticeship, and have been all sorts of anxious over the show. All I want to do is be at the shop, but all I've managed to do is sleep, drink tea, and draw badly. I hope my artist doesn't hate me.

So this will be the last rose flash that I'll force you guys to look at for a while. I'm getting better at drawing these things, but I'm still not nearly as good as I'd like to be. This is about 13 inches, measured diagonally, and is meant to go on someone's side/ribs. I wish I had used different colours.

Tiiired.

I am 100% indifferent towards everything in this post.

This scan is pretty crappy, I apologize.


"Why, we need you more than you know."


(This doesn't have a title yet.)
And I don't remember what species of insect this is, and that annoys me. Apology x2.