Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hello, new decade.

Good news everyone! 30 doesn't feel much different than 29! A lot of warmth is coming my way today, and I've been writing this post since earlier in the week. I don't give much of a crap about birthdays, but 30 is a big deal to me, because for the majority of my life I was absolutely convinced that I wouldn't make it this far (let's just say that for a very long time, I hated myself very, very much). I wanted to share some thoughts with you, things that I've figured out along the way, things that I wish I had known years ago. Maybe in another 30 years I'll want to edit all of this, or just add a lot more on to it. I hope that something in the next paragraphs helps someone, but I am also posting this as a reminder to myself.

I'm not sure where to start, so I'll just jump right in.

I'm convinced that developing a relationship with forgiveness is one of the keys to happiness. Forgiving doesn't have to mean forgetting, but if you can forgive the people and things that have happened to you, you'll feel a lot lighter for it. And if you can't? That's okay too. But try to let it go. Say, I can not forgive this/you, and then keep going. Leave the forgiveness part to the universe. It's okay, you're human.

In fact, if you find that you're being too hard on yourself, remember that too. It's okay, you are human.

The cliche, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is true, although almost always frustrating to hear when you're standing in the middle of shit and feeling like the life has been sucked out of you. Try to eliminate thoughts like This isn't fair, or I don't deserve this. Because it's not about that. It's about doing the best you can with what you are given.

When you find the thing that makes you happy (and I don't mean a person, here), fight to keep it -- even if it's a city away from your friends, a job that your parents don't approve of, or a hobby that you are almost too busy for.

And as for the person that makes you happy? Remember that relationships and friendships are a constant learning and growing experience, that will sometimes be difficult (see also: forgiveness). Don't forget to tend and cultivate them with care, and if the day comes where you need to fight for a person, then do it, but if they still insist on walking away, then the best thing that you can do for yourself is to let them go and be at peace knowing that you did everything that you could.

Taking a person for granted can be one of the most sad, devastating, and damaging mistakes, and you will do this to someone, and it will be done to you. Again: forgiveness.

You are responsible for your own happiness, and should never rely on another person to provide happiness for you. Create a life that you are in love with, be in love with yourself, and fill it with those worth sharing it all with, who magnify all of the goodness that you already have.

You make your own family. Go with your gut. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Be kind, especially when it's hard. Don't tolerate anyone who makes you feel small. Don't ever let anyone make you believe that you're not magnificent.

And LIVE. Kiss that stranger, take on that project, make goals, make mistakes, appreciate as much as you can, say you're sorry, be honest, be patient. Things will be okay, things will work out. Even if it takes a little while, even if it's the last thing that you're capable of believing in at the time.

If you read all of that, you are a champion. And because it is my birthday, and because I love and appreciate you, here is a high-res scan of "Rescue" for you to download and print. Share all you'd like (but please don't use the image for profit, okay?). Just click and save.♥


Cin said...

That was a reassuring post as I, too am heading into my thirties soon. It feels like a lot of people are writing these mantras and I still don't really want to think about it, but I think I'm getting there.

Also, I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

Cassandra said...

Thank you! I didn't think about it much until the last few months, and then I was in a serious panic about it and comparing myself to other people around my age, which obviously isn't a healthy thing to do. Somehow I finally reached (stumbled upon) the point where all I want to do is make myself happy, and be a good human being.